


First Connections Lost

by ArtsyGirl



Series: A Piece of Me [7]
Category: Enderal (Video Game)
Genre: Chickens, Drinking, F/F, F/M, Fire Breathing Chicken, Implied Nude Modeling, Implied/Referenced Sex, Nehremese Exploding Crystals, Opening Up Emotionally, Talking, Telling Stories, Ways of Seeing the World, Ways of life, dragon - Freeform, drinking and talking, emotional stuff, inn, laughing, sketch - freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 13:35:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13342326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtsyGirl/pseuds/ArtsyGirl
Summary: The prophetess was in the 'Dancing Nomad' inn in the last piece, she had an interesting entaglement with someone. This is the aftermath with a few explanations.Prophetess has a nice chat with Jespar on various subjects.





	First Connections Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Now it can be found out why she was in the middle of the interesting scene in the last story.
> 
> Feel free to share what's on your mind on the given situation :)

I’m in the ‘Dancing Nomad’ inn siting at a table with my quite new friend and savior.  
  
It is quite late at night, but the inn has just begun to bloom with life. The music is perky and instrumental, some are even brave enough to try and dance, they really don’t seem to care what anyone thinks of their moves, and why should they.  
  
I can spot a male group-outing, maybe a bachelor party. They are in the middle of a drinking game while two ‘sensual entertainers’ moving ever so gracefully near their bodies, flaunting everything they have got.  
  
The inns in Enderal seem to be livelier to me than these places in elsewhere, but what do I know, I’m new here and I’ve only visited two.  
  
I turn my gaze back to my companion across the table and see that he has a wide curious grinon his face. I should have known that he’d be interested in what just happened. I sigh “Ah well, ask away.”  
  
“What was all that about?”Jespar leans a little closer towards me, he genuinely seems interested.  
  
I cross my arms while being sarcastic “Oh, isn’t it usual for one woman in her underclothes to chase down another woman, then throw the other’s art at her face and then proceed to slapping the other woman silly?”  
  
He snorts “Believe it or not, but this is a rarer sighting than most.” He pauses, thinks of something and asks “Wait did I see correctly that there’s a slight limping motion in your steps right now?”  
  
I giggle. “Yes I’m limping, let your mind run wild with trying to find an explanation for that, maybe, just maybe you’ll get it right. But what comes to that woman chasing me down then it isn’t that complicated really. We slept together and after the pleasant encounter she wanted to model for me, naked of course. ”  
  
I see a smirk on his face. Jespar waves the tavern wench and tells her “The house special for me and my friend here.” She nods and scurries away. He turns his gaze back upon me “There has to be more to it.” Oh, he is trying to get more details out of me, wonder why, because of the mysterious limp and the detailed way it came to being?  
  
I trace the handprint on by cheek with my index finger; she put a lot of force into the slap. “Yeah, a little.”  
  
The tavern-wench returns with two mugs of honey ale. I take a good long sip from it. There is some foam on my lip, I wipe it away and continue explaining “So there she was on the bed waiting for me to draw her but the inspiration, it just wasn’t there. I struggled to do something, but it was no good so I discarded the first piece of paper and got another one. At that moment the inspiration came, like lightning from the clear sky, it was amazing. When I was finished with the art then she was asleep already. I left the finished piece over there and snuck away.”  
  
“I see… Take it that she didn’t take the sneaking away part well.”  
  
I blush “Among other things.” What could she have been that unhappy about? The sneaking away, the picture I drew and maybe the sweet-talking bit, surely not the way I treated her in bed because she expressed her pleasure quite vocally. I wonder what she thinks of the artist types now, we, the artistic people are actually known to do these things a lot, finding their muses over and over again each night, hoping that someone will inspire them to make an amazing piece of art instead of alright or good enough piece of art.  
  
“So what did you draw exactly?” He is quite curious.  
  
I burst into laughter so bad that I can’t sit up straight. My stomach muscles are cramping, my breath is ragged, my face is starting to heat up and I feel as if I am going to fall to the floor curled up in a ball of frantic laughter. I calm down a little. I’m fanning air to my face with my hands. I have to tell myself (in my head of course): ‘Calm down Susan, take a few deep breaths’ but instead of talking calmly I blurt out “A fire breathing chicken.” and point to the turned over piece of paper on the table.  
  
Jespar picks it up and comments “So let me get this straight; you have a beautiful woman modeling for you, naked and you draw a fire breathing chicken?”  
  
There are tears in my eyes. “I know right...” Damn the laugh is trying hard to come back, jeez woman get a grip.  
  
He chuckles “Don’t get me wrong, this is a damn impressive chicken but I can’t blame her for doing what she did.”  
  
I’ve calmed down, a lot, but there is still a snicker I can’t get rid of. “Hey from where I come from chickens are treated like royalty. For instance; if you happen not to notice one of them roaming the road and you step on it you’ll get a bounty on your head.” I’m gesturing wildly “Or when a sodding dragon is attacking a village and you are there fighting it and just ONE arrow bounces off the beast’s tough scales, hits a chicken and kills it then everyone is going to forget the fucking lizard-like, winged and fire breathing beast and come after you. Seriously I’ve had a whole village chase me for that same fucking reason.”  
  
He is the one laughing now.  
  
“Hey! I’m absolutely serious!” I try to pull off an angry expression, but it isn’t working. I justify myself “If anything then that girl should be honored that I got the inspiration from her to draw a fucking bad-ass, fire breathing chicken.” I drink the mug of ale empty in one go.  
  
“If you put it that way, then you may just have a point.”  
  
I give him a grateful nod of the head “Thanks for acknowledging me maybe being right.” I pick up the empty mug of ale and gaze in it, there is a tiny droplet left. I look back up towards him “You do have a point too; I don’t blame her either, not really. I was a bitch and kinda deserved it.” I drink the droplet. “As the saying goes ‘no pain no gain’ and ‘art requires sacrifices’ .This time she was the one to make the sacrifice and I was the one who paid for it.” He nods, seemingly agreeing. My hand has wondered to the burning cheek again, keep it under control, it is just a little pink spot that is shaped like a hand.  
  
“Other than this little event…how are you holding up? It must have been quite the whirlwind…Yesterday, a refugee from another country, now a prodigy with magic great enough to impress old bushy-beard. ”  
  
I tighten my ponytail and exhale deeply “To be honest then I’m still trying to make sense of it.”  
  
“Hm… Good luck with that.” I’m probably going to need luck, a lot. He folds one arm onto his chest supporting the other hand that’s leaning on it and cupping his chin “I’m quite curious to see how things keep on with you. You are different; I noticed that the time we met.”  
  
“Good different or bad different?”  
  
He looks slightly up, damn Jespar looks like great thinker, now what is needed is a sculptor to immortalize the classic expression. “Something between strange and good, in the best possible way, at least this is how it seems to me.” That is actually cute, I’m glad and hopefully not blushing.  
  
“Anyhow… Tell me, what do you make of this country by now that you have had time to look around? I figure it must be quite the change from Nehrim.”  
  
“It is VERY different from Nehrim, better. And… ” I take a moment to think. “…this place feels different, more… I don’t know open. The people are open about their emotions and thoughts and it is all so natural. Also it feels that this way of being free and open is starting to stick to me, in Nehrim I didn’t get that perception.”  
  
“That is good isn’t it?”  
  
“I hope so. But a messed up person like me letting her emotions run loose might not be the best idea.” It is sad but true, I’ve always let out the safe emotions, but kept the dangerous, personal and truest bottled up inside, it was and is, risky showing people who you really are because they can and usually will use it against you when things get bad.  
  
He laughs “I don’t know about that. At least I think it would be an interesting sight.” If he only knew…  
  
I try to turn away from my gloomy thoughts by being funnier and more up-beat. Again I’m keeping myself hidden away, a little. “Maybe, depending on how much I drink.”  
Time to change the subject, Suz. “ Remember the arcane fever thing, I had?”  
  
“Absolutely, last time I saw you then Bushy-beard sent you off to some ruin to get it cured. How did that go?”  
  
“Differently from what was expected. You see when I got there I was almost blown up by the woman to who Firespark sent me, luckily I was only hit by a little shrapnel from some crazy exploding gems.”  
  
He grimaces and says “Ouch.”  
  
I joke “That was not the most painful thing today, sadly. The most painful thing was not physical at all. The show you witnessed before packed quite the punch for my ego.”  
  
“Nothing more painful than wounded pride. Do tell me about… but give me a second, as I recall I promised you some food, drink and someone to have a good chat with, the only thing missing now is the former.” He stands up, “I’ll be right back.” and walks up to the person behind the bar counter. While he is there at the moment I wave the tavern- wench and pay her 2 pennies to fill up he mugs, again.  
  
Jespar gets back. “Hope that I didn’t keep you waiting too long.”  
  
“Not really.”  
  
He sits down and looks at me with great interest “Good, so exploding gems.”  
  
“Ah, yes. So this woman run after me and scolds that these were some Nehremese Exploding Crystals and had she come one second later she could have been scraping me up with a shovel.”  
  
He nods “These are a nasty things indeed, but for the future reference these crystals make this unique slightly high-pitch chiming noise when they are activated, when you hear that then run.”  
  
“Huh. When you mention it then I did notice some strange nose, but didn’t know what to think of it at the moment. Oh and after that as it turns out the name Firespark gave me was wrong. There is nor was any Lushy. It seems he has a thing with names, he just doesn’t seem to get them right.”  
  
“You can’t blame him, he is very old by now.”  
  
“I don’t but it is quite comical, Joseph.”  
  
“Ha, ha laugh it off. You know that he is going to get your name wrong too.”  
  
“I have a feeling that he is going to be one of those people who doesn’t use my name, so no problem with that for me, Joseph.”  
The tavern-wench arrives with two huge plates of food. I tell about what else happened in that ruin.  
  
“…and as Lishary cast her cure the arcane fever spell on me I rose up in the air but of course something went wrong and fell on the hard stone ground landing on my tailbone.”  
  
Great realization can be seen in his face “Oh, that’s where the limp comes from.” So he was thinking about it.  
  
I mock “Disappointed?”  
  
He answers “A little.” I laugh.  
  
“That is pretty much it but as I left the ruin I did notice that the nature in Enderal is beautiful, no marvelous. The high trees, lush flora, deadly, pissed animals and miscellaneous creatures that are crazy bloodthirsty. You see I was just calmly walking to ark from the ruin where Firespark sent me and I was attacked by a pack of wolves, a fox and 3 highwaymen. To top that off it began raining, nothing better than getting hurt, being attacked several times and then witness how fast the weather in Enderal changes.”  
  
“Hah, yeah, I can picture that.” It is amazing how Jespar can be so easy-going and make her mostly bad day better by saying so little, by just being there and listening.  
  
He exhales deeply and has this blissful look on his face. “You know… this is exactly the reason why I love inns so much. The sky can rain fire out there, in here you’ll meet laughter and good humor. Not to mention the good-looking men and women.”  
  
I have my hand awkwardly rubbing the back of my neck “You are right… but I think that I’ve had enough of that kind of excitement, for today.”  
  
“Not so adventurous anymore, are we?” I blush.  
  
I can see his expression change, he still bears a tiny smile but his eyes they tell a different story, there’s sadness in them. “I think I’ve seen enough of this place by now…of Enderall, I mean.” He pauses and looks off into the distance. “There’s a ship sailing for Kile next morning, and as it seems, it will be the last one for quite some time to come. Who knows, maybe they still have a cabin to spare for a handsome treasure hunter.” He really emphasized the handsome part, not that he shouldn’t, not that I care or something… Focus Susan.  
  
It is sad that he is going to leave, he is the first person I feel some connection to in Enderal. “You want to leave? In spite of all that’s happening?”  
  
He leans back in his chair and crosses his legs. “Ah, well this entire thing was more a coincidence than planned anyhow. The Order needed someone with skill and direction, I was around, end of story. I never intended to stick around for much longer.”  
  
He gets his joking face on, it isn’t sitting that well right now, like a mask that is ill fitting, and I believe he knows it too. “Heck, me as an Ambassador of the holly order… Could you imagine that? ” He clears his throat “ ‘Not one step further, oh fair maiden! Drop your garments so we both may bathe in Malphas’s Holly Light’ ”That was actually entertaining, if he’d ever tire of being a mercenary then he certainly could try a hand at acting. “Hm… Actually not that bad, don’t you think?”  
  
“Very convincing, Ambassador Dal’Varek.”  
  
“Aw… you are too kind.” Oh my the drinks must be getting to my head because that seemed hellofa cute to me.  
  
He keeps speaking with more of a serious, but with a light tone “But you know, at the end of the day I guess I’d probably lack both the pathos and idealism for such a… profession. You know … I’m aware of how these esteemed Keepers up there talk about sell-swords like me.”  
  
“Oh?”  
  
“I could save thirty virgins from a Myrad on rampage, at the end of the day they’d say I did it for money, because I wanted to bed the women or whatever. I’m driven by ‘inferior motives’, while no matter what their actions end in, they are good guys because they do things for the ‘right reasons’. If only they’d understand that it’s results that matter, not intentions.” He seems really passionate about the given subject. “What does the Wise Hermit say? ‘Nothing is of less importance to the saved than the reason for their rescue’.”  
  
“You’re spot on with that.”  
  
“The only difference between a mercenary like me and a ‘Holly Warden is that I’m at least aware of the fact that I do what I do for myself…and no one else.” That really seems to bug him. “I’m trying to say that all those ‘heroes ’ and self-declared messiahs are no better than everyone else. In the end, we are all selfish, because we always act in accordance to what we think we have to be like.”  
  
I can hear him breathing a little frustrated “So yes, maybe the Keeper saves the farmer from the bandits, but in the end of the day he does it because he sees himself in a certain light.” Hm… I’ve never thought about it like that.  
  
He takes a deep breath “You know… The funny thing is that a lot of times it is especially those who think themselves driven by a ‘higher purpose’, who are the really dangerous ones. They don’t understand what drives them, and that makes them easy to manipulate.”  
  
He drinks and keeps explaining “The only thing left to do for the capable hatemonger or tyrant is to somehow combine his own ambitions with the mental image of this person… And presto, you’ve got your perfect puppet, only waiting to dive into the next hail of arrows for their ‘honor’, their religion or whatever they thought of this time.”  
  
He pinches the bridge of his nose and shakes his head “It is just so idiotic, you know.”  
  
He looks back up and sighs “The world would be a much better place if everyone could just acknowledge that the only reason we’re here is that we want to be happy.”  
  
I lean back in my chair and ask: “So what you’re saying is that in the end every person just wants to be happy? That being simply happy is the purpose of life?”  
  
He nods “Yeah… ‘seek bliss and avoid pain’, as the Wise Hermit likes to say. And believe me, once they realize that that’s how we people just work, life is a lot better.” The ‘Wise Hermit’s’ saying is pretty much what I’ve tried to do all of my life but it never seems to work, things always go differently, I always get burnt, I wonder why.  
  
He’s way of seeing things is a good change from the usual ‘you can achieve happiness only by being utterly selfless and doing good deeds’ but are those two philosophies the only ones, is there no in between? “But you do have some more profound goal in your life, a dream or something, don’t you?”  
  
He smirks “Oh, yeah, I do, and it is called ‘surviving’. And if possible, be able to enjoy a good class of wine or an existing night from time to time.” Now this got strange, that is what I have tried to do for a great portion of my life of course looking back I really didn't think about it all, I just did it. Now looking back at first it was mostly about surviving but later there came the pleasant alcoholic drinks, occasional ‘getting high’ and then a few exiting nights here and there. Why haven’t I met someone like that before back at the place I used to call home, maybe things would have gone differently? Who am I kidding at that time I would have argued and told that this is not what living is about that I am on the path of honor or some other bullshit apology.  
  
I think i understand the idea of having fun while surviving, but I'm still a little confused about the so called heroes like my dear old dragon souled friend, is she and egoist because she wanted to help people and save the world? “Just to be clear; what you are saying is that we are all egoists? Even the ones who bare the stamp of ‘Hero’ given by the people, the people who the said person has helped?”  
  
“Oh blazes, you make it sound so dramatic. Doing something for your own sake doesn’t make you selfish. But basically that’s the essence of what I said.”  
  
“Then our societies be damned for making us believe that doing something for ourselves is bad and egoistic. At some point in my youth I really used to struggle with that way of thinking and living.”  
  
“Sadly you were and won’t be the first nor the last.”  
  
Now there's someone speaking the truth that many find unwelcome “Well that is bad, but there’s nothing I can do about is, so no reason to make oneself angry over it, it’s a waste of energy.” I lean more forward. “But how can you be sure of yourself that there is no other reason in our life? No other reason for existence.”  
  
“I don’t know, call it a feeling? But if there is such a thing as a universal point to our lives…” Oh I highly doubt that there is, people are just too different for that. In some places the universal point for living would be to make babies and have big families and in some other places it would be to spend time in solitude and unlock the knowledge of the world, while living the life of celibacy. “…then I’m pretty sure we won’t find it within the predigested philosophies or religions most people believe in. And hey, I’d be the last one to reject this ‘Great truth’ if she were to knock on my door, naked and tits jiggling. But until then I’d rather try to find my own answers.” I like his attitude towards finding one’s own answers but judging by what he’s just told me he is one crazy stubborn person, but that clashes with his easy-going nature. Hm… he is a little conflicted isn’t he. It is a shame that he is going to leave Enderal, I would have loved to have a chance to get to know him better.  
  
“I couldn’t agree more, I think.”  
  
Jespar seems genuinely surprised “You do?” He wipes his forehead with his hand, like many people when they are relieved. “And here I thought I’d get an indignant cry and a splash of honey-ale thrown in my face. That’s how most people react.”  
  
People do have problems with different views and opinions; I’ve seen that a lot in my life too. If you don’t agree then don’t make a scandal over something small, but they never do that. “Then those people were overreacting over nothing, we are people and it is only natural to have different opinions and views on life. To waste good drink by throwing it at someone, who just shared that big part of themselves is most unpleasant. ”  
  
“Indeed.” He yawns “In any case I think I’ll take my leave now”  
  
He sends a warm smile at me. “I very much enjoyed our talk, but the ship to Kile leaves before the first cock’s crow tomorrow, and I want some more time to think about it.” He gets up from the chair.  
It seems that he is about to say goodbye, turn and walk away but I interrupt that course of action “Hey, for what it’s worth, I wouldn’t mind if you stayed. This city needs more good-looking mercenaries.”  
  
“Well it most recently gained a good looking adventurer. Maybe that’ll make up for when I leave.”  
  
I sigh.  
  
“And hey that is just a pink handprint on your cheek, no need to worry, it’ll be gone soon.” I notice that my hand has wondered back to my face, damn it. “Keep your chin up.”  
  
“Bye.” It came out as a whisper; don’t think that he heard me.  
  
And just like that Jespar is gone.

**Author's Note:**

> The prophetess is the one leading this story but she may need a friendly nudge in some direction.
> 
> If you have any ideas where this should go then feel free to share. If you don't like anything then I can take the criticism too, anything to get better at writing and make people happy.
> 
> And if anyone would be interested about how my version of the prophetess looks like then just say so, I can have a sketch or a detailed description of her up in no time :)


End file.
